Emma's 1st Birthday Party!! My sweetness turned one in a blink of an eye. My precious loving girl is growing so fast and each day it passes by I'm more and more in love with her. I can't believe she is mine! It's hard to believe God gifted to me this beautiful girl and I am so undeserving of her. God I thank you for this child and the four that are with you. I love Emma's love for me is like no other I have experience before. I have experience the love I have as a mother when birthing our first born but this is the first time I get to feel my child love me back in such a beautiful way. My heart smiled and rejoiced seeing Emma be so her at her birthday party. She was happy, wild and teething toddler. I will be honest I get physically tire as most moms do but my heart never wants to miss a beat. Every moment I treasure twice much, once for her and once for Luke. By no means I'm trying to live his life through hers but I enjoy her milestones as if I was celebrating his too. It's hard to explain but I don't want to take Emma for granted as I wish I got to celebrate Luke's milestone and I know I never will. Being a grieving mom is complicated and not easy. I think being a mon period is the most difficult job ever but the most rewarding in the entire universe. I often think of Mary on how she felt as she gave birth to our savior and loved him and care for him knowing he was going to die for us. I view Mary as one if us grieving moms only difference she knew her son will die and I didn't and to be honest I don't know which one is worst. Emma Grace Johnson my little girl I hope one day you have the opportunity to be a mommy if that is what God has planned for you because you will be in love with you child like I am with you and your brother. I hope that one day like Mary you follow God. As I think no one else loves you more than me, God does and you will see and learn it pretty soon. I love you my Bonita with all my heart and momma is happy that you had a wonderful 1st Birthday.
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