Sundays

After losing Luke sundays were super rough on me although he was born on a Monday. I guess because Sunday morning I went in to the hospital and was told I was 2cm dialeted and felt my heart sinking in all the way to my toes.

I remember looking at the tiles on the ceiling and thinking "this can't be good". Immediately I told God that I was aware that Luke was borrowed and he belong to him and that I trusted my son's life and mine with him.

After that I felt peace in my heart and hope that God would do what was best for Luke and not was best for me.

All day Sunday I kept hearing his heart beating strong and beautifully. I wish that I will never forget that sound but often fear that the sound is fading into memories.

After three months of Luke passing away Sundays have gotten better but there are still times when I have a rough one specially if I'm off work. I have no idea how I'm going to deal with my 1st mother's day without him on a Sunday.

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