5 weeks!

So tomorrow according to the baby calculator I will be 5 weeks. I just found out a week ago & it feels like it has been an eternity which means I have another 5 weeks to make it to my first ob appointment.

It is strange that I don't have the same symptoms as my first two pregnancies and in a way I feel paranoid. I feel good though but I also know is early in the pregnancy.

I really try not to think about it so I don't worry about it. I don't want to live like this though out this journey.

It is hard to trust God right know and it sounds wrong because he is the only way and the only one that is in control of my life and this baby. It is hard to pray form a healthy baby because I did that with Hope and Luke and they are not here with me. I know that they are in a better place than here and they have a HUGE purpose in heaven. I just miss my babies that's all....